Not some sort of grisly fight between man and beast, because it wasn’t that sort of weasel. In fact, Noel Edmonds wasn’t involved in the actual weasel wrangling. It’s an example of when old doesn’t necessarily mean rare – the Wild Weasel was rare because it was new. To the point of not being available.
And when it finally did become available to non-celebrities, the real thing was a disappointment.
Wild Weasel?
The mythical creature in question was the Italeri 1/72 scale kit of the Phantom F-4G Wild Weasel, which looks like this from the outside:
In 1981 I was still fairly serious about modelling and had an interest in the Phantom F-4G Wild Weasel. This was a specialised USAF aircraft, for the specific role of suppression of enemy air defences (SEAD). In some cases, “suppression” was one of those military euphemisms. The best reference on this aircraft in 1981 (Detail & Scale Volume 7) had photos with tape over bits of the rear instrument panel. In those days it was classified, even with the power off.
Italeri had announced that they were producing a kit of the F-4G, but even after a long wait these kits were unavailable in the shops. But somehow, they were available to the BBC and/or Noel Edmonds.
Speed, enthusiasm and glue
This might sound like a punk manifesto but it was children’s TV in the early 80s. Someone on the Swap Shop team decided the best way to use these unobtainable kits was to challenge a bunch of kids to build them, in a competition. Not build them with “Skill, patience and Humbrol”, but as quickly as they possible could, on live TV, on a Saturday morning.
Chef in Apocalypse Now came to mind (not to be confused with Chef in South Park under any circumstances). Except it wasn’t the prime rib which was turning grey, it was my face. I couldn’t bear to look at the results but I’m guessing they weren’t museum quality. The amount of solvent-based glue involved would also have raised eyebrows in later years.
The seamless transition from anticipation to disappointment
When I finally managed to get hold of the F-4G kit it was actually a bit crap, even by 1981 standards. I certainly didn’t finish my own example, possibly didn’t really get started. It wasn’t as good as previous Italeri offerings like their excellent 1972 Fiat BR.20 – still floating around after numerous reboxings and pretty good for its age. The F-4G was also disappointingly small in 1/72 scale.
If you’re interested, Detail & Scale Vol 7 explains what’s wrong with it, at length. In summary, the rear cockpit is wrong and various bits are inaccurate or missing. Various parts also didn’t seem to fit together terribly well. Compromises were made to produce a family of F-4 kits, which didn’t work out too well. Much like those cheap “universal” car spares which don’t really fit anything properly.
So after months of anticipation about what Italeri would do with one of my favourite aeroplanes, the reality was disappointing. Which taught me another valuable lesson – the potential is often more appealing than the end result.